2. Blames others (including you) for his faults, him being the way he is
3. Blames circumstances for his problems (it's not me, it's how life is treating me)
4. His behaviour is unpredictable and you don't know what to expect from him at any time, in particular how he may greet you
5. He belittles you verbally, tries to take away your self-esteem and self-respect
6. He cannot control his anger and directs his anger at you regardless if his anger is due to something he feels you did or someone/something else
7. He always asks for a second chance to behave better
8. He says he'll change, that he won't do it again, after he's finished his tirade
9. His family resolves problems with violence, a history of violent behavior in his family, with brothers and sisters, against parents, his parents were argumentative and/or abusers
10. He plays on your guilt. (If you loved me, you'd...")
11. His behaviour often worsens when he uses alcohol or drugs, easily becoming uncontrollable
12. He is close-minded. His way is the only way and you'd better always do as he says.
I believe I know a few controlling abusive people.
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